Beneath

Often there are times when we are confronted by a situation that allows our emotions to take control because of some remark or insensitive situation we were not prepared for. A Solution???

Ever experience a situation where you’ve found yourself lashing out at someone without meaning to. Then later berating yourself for losing control and feeling guilty for treating the others badly. While it is natural that our emotions and moods will get the better of us, we can learn to control them and avoid difficult situations. Often, when we lash out, it is because we are having a difficult time controlling the emotions that come up inside of us. We may feel afraid, or frustrated, maybe stressed out, or angry. Having these feelings boiling up inside of us can be very uncomfortable. It is natural to want to release them. When we release our feelings by directing them outward and toward someone else, they inevitably impact the person to whom we are directing our discomfort. They not only get the brunt of negative emotion, they can actually experience this energy as a physical force hitting their bodies.

Practice Makes Perfect

When you find yourself in a situation where you are about to lash out at a person, try to center yourself by breathing slowly and deeply. A few slow inhales and exhales can help ease the intensity of your feelings before they escape you. Later, when you find yourself in a more reflective state, recall the feelings in your body just before and during your outburst. Note where you feel sensations coming up in your body, then ask yourself, are they connected to any core issue or experience from your life. If nothing comes to mind, then revisit the situation again, exaggerating the details of what happened by indulging in outlandish “what if” fantasies. Exaggerating the event after the fact can help expose the unconscious reactions behind your heated response. Understanding the motivation behind your reactions can help you avoid lashing out again when a similar situation comes up. In learning to navigate around your emotions, you are giving yourself the tools to feel better the next time your emotions start to boil. In doing so, you will be taking care of yourself by alleviating your own uncomfortable feelings while respecting and protecting those around you.